If you have ever been dumped, you will go through some emotional stages to survive through the relationship break up. Your partner will also go through these emotional stages even if the intensity of the pain not be as deep as your own.
It is important that you know and acknowledge these emotional stages as they will assist in your healing and restoration of confidence. It is critical to your ability to find love again as you must at one time in the future come to terms with the reality and move on with your life. Don’t try any short cuts as each stage is necessary to your healing process.
Again, no time limit has been allotted to each stage. The time you take to pass a stage will depend largely on how strong you are and the ruggedness of your support system what ever it may be.
The five emotional stages are as follows:
When this pain hits you, you may want to surrender and simply crawl into a corner desiring to be left alone. Initially the fast pain may be tempered by your feeling of disbelief but by the time it sinks, the pain becomes almost unbearable. You find it difficult to sleep or even take a meal. You feel the world has crashed on you and nothing makes sense.
At this stage you tend to tell yourself that it never happened and that your partner will soon realize that this joke has gone far and come to his sense and the two of you will be back together as you were once. This kind of thinking could be dangerous as it makes it harder for you to overcome the situation and move on with your life. It is therefore important that you move on as quickly as possible through this stage.
How can someone who claims to love you and whom you have confided in, hurt you so much? How? You therefore become outraged as your hurt and fear take over your very being. That is what makes this stage very destructive and it is highly advisable that you handle or manage this stage with a lot of caution and tact so that you do not ultimately sabotage any chances of reconciliation and coming back together.
Similarly, try as hard as possible to eschew any bitterness from your heart. Deliberate steps will have to be taken to ensure that you avoid becoming overly bitter as it affects your ability of having rewarding and fulfilling relationship with any person in the future.
It is natural that you will be grieving for some time over the break up. You will reminisce over all the beautiful experiences you shared together with your partner and your feeling of loss may intensify. You will do well to remain mentally balanced as you grieve longer than necessary.
If at any time during this stage a thought of ‘final solution” comes to your mind, then you better seek for help without any delay. Remember that no matter your disappointment, pain and frustration, a time will come when you will love again.
At the end of these four earlier stages, you will come to the realization that, indeed it is over. You will accept this fact of life and become stronger and better and begin to think once again about your life and your future. Yes, you will have mixed feelings: sad because you lost a love. And happy because of the opportunities that lay ahead in your future convinced that you will find love again.
Knowing about the characteristics of the five emotional stages will assist you to go quickly through these stages and allow the past to remain in the past. It will help you to look up to the future with the hope and belief that all will be fine. Understand that these are all natural patterns and will pass by with time.
Theo Johnson has been helping people to mend their relationships online for some time now.
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