People ask me what kind of domestic abuse assessment screen helps someone who is abused to see the light. In providing assessments for thousands of people, I’m convinced that a tool which reveals the subtle communication patterns of abusive relationships helps someone being abused to awaken to their circumstances. Further, identifying these subtle-and often unconscious-interaction patterns helps the abused partner recognize what keeps the abuse dynamic going and, from here, what stops it.
Many people say they know they are in an abusive relationship, but don’t understand what maintains it. If that has been your experience, look at the subtle communication patterns of abusive relationships and you will gain insight into the mechanism that sustains this dynamic. Seeing this will give you what you need to stop the cycle and will insure your not engaging in another abusive relationship.
A Closer Look at the Subtle
For example, look at the interaction pattern and internal dialogue surrounding the subtle communication pattern of “when ‘no’ means maybe.” When you feel your answers, from the core of your being, to domestic abuse screening questions addressing this communication pattern, you see the subtleties of the abuse dynamic unfold.
It’s both subtle and significant. If s/he hears my “no” as a maybe and as a challenge to convert into a “yes,” we see a lack of honoring the preferences of the partner saying “no” and an obsessive compulsion to control the outcome of the exchange.
Further, if I’m aware that my “no” sounds like “maybe,” then I am cognizant of my hesitation in not fulfilling his/her request. As I look closer at that, I feel the basis for this hesitation. I see and feel the internal dialogue that supports the domestic abuse dynamic.
Your Personal Inquiry
Now we could go on from here; however if you’re thinking of taking such a test, it would be best for your discovery to come from within. That will be more meaningful and more likely to move you forward, as you will resonate with it from your own personal experience.
Without that inward inquiry, the description could sound like a lot of psycho-babble. Trust me, it’s not. Domestic abuse is quite real and is easiest to acknowledge, and to abort, in its most subtle manifestations.
Bottom line? Recognize the subtle communication patterns of abusive relationships and learn to abort them before they spiral out of control. If you’d like help with this, I invite you to visit www.PreventAbusiveRelationships.com. Dr. Jeanne King helps individuals, families and healthcare professionals to recognize and end domestic abuse.
Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. — Domestic Abuse Prevention and Intervention
© 2008 Jeanne King, Ph.D. http://www.PreventAbusiveRelationships.com